For Adelle

I am a list person. I have a whole book of lists, and I don't know if my mom was a list-maker or something, but it is strangely satisfying for me. I've been cataloguing some lessons learned this year, and I'm sure as I grow nostalgic in the heat of the blessed summer, I will add to it, but for meow, here are some things I never really knew before:

• I am capable of eating an entire meal in 15 minutes and not getting heart burn, not visiting the facilities for 5 hours straight, and commanding 80 7th graders on 4 hours of sleep or less.
• In the eyes of a 7th grader in Haltom City, using big words like "society" and "association" is "showing off".
• You are not supposed to laugh out loud at your students when they pronounce the name "Beatrice" phonetically as "beat rice". Or when they come into your room running and surf your door mat into the nearest table.
• Turns out lots of women never really grow out of that teenage girl clique/cat fight thing.
• Turns out I CAN be insulted to my face and not overreact.
• I think the whole world feels about 15 degrees warmed to me than the average person. My room is known as "The Meat Locker", but I sure don't have a problem with dress code.
• The Outsiders is just as good 40 years after it was written.
• Middle School is exactly the same was it was when I did it the first time. The social groups just have different names.
• Yes your teachers were talking about you.
• Teachers in inner-city schools bond like soldiers in a war. Well, maybe not EXACTLY like soldiers in a war. But close.
• Teachers like it when you call them mean and hard. It means they are doing their job.
• I'm looking forward to when I can be the tough-but-fair teacher, but since 7th graders are advocates of all personal justice, I'm not sure it's possible.
• I'm also not sure kids realize adults have emotions, and what they say matters. It's weird to see it from this side of the desk.

OK there is a quick list. I'm sure I will have more as the kids who got suspended drift back in just in time for the TAKS test...

What I learned at a middle school dance

Tonight was my first time as an official sponsor/fun sucker at a middle school dance. My feet hurt and my ears are still ringing, but I had to get this down so maybe you can take a quick trip back to the smell of cheap cologne, new rubber shoes, stale gym and spray tan. Recall the sight of hair gelled to a fine point by the boys and sprayed into careless curls by the girls. Remember the weird feeling of being at school in the dark? It feels just the same as a teacher, except the reaction isn't "Isn't this weird? It looks so different and and it's kind of exciting!" to "I cannot believe I have been here this long and I'm a little scared to walk out to my classroom at night." So, as a list person, I bring you a brief list of lessons learned at a 6th-8th grade dance:

1. It is very difficult to drop it like it's hot in an Easter dress.
2. It is also very hard to pop-and-lock to "Journey".
3. If you are a boy and choose to dance with a girl, prepare for others to gather around you and stare. Especially if she is taller than you are.
4. Whatever makes you the coolest cat in the crib at a middle school dance will also automatically make you the biggest dork at a high school one.
5. More "Axe" does not equal a shower! Who is telling the boys this? Stop it!
6. There is no shock quite like watching 12 year olds grinding. Up until tonight I still saw them as little innocent kids to some degree, and I knew part of that would be gone after the dance. And it is. It's a kind of sad, overwhelmed, hopeless feeling, because who is there to tell these kids to hold on to that innocence, that's it's ok to not know what everyone else is talking about, to still be grossed out by that, to be a little bit scared of her, and to prefer holding his hand? How do you explain that? I'm starting to think that many of these kids never had that innocence to start with and so never had the chance to lose it or miss it. Someone never kept it safe for them and that makes me mad.
7. Most kids will apologize sincerely and profusely in private for something they thought was cool and hilarious in front of their friends. Especially when they have accidentally flipped off a teacher while a circle of peers gathered around to watch them "serve" another dancer. When I could keep from laughing, I pulled said server aside and asked him if I could interest him in a referral this evening. He declined and apologized at length and called me "ma'am". When did that happen?

So, as they take off their dancing shoes and wipe off the glitter, I'm only praying they will shower with soap and sleep the exhausted sleep of the young and naive, at least for a little while longer.

First day of school '08

It took me a while to figure out where I hid that blog I started last spring after New York. I lost the password and everything, but here we are!

I remember someone saying before I started teaching that middle school kids are not as hyper at school as they are at church. This is not the case. They are EVERY BIT as hyper at school. It's been an interesting year so far, for sure. I have enjoyed my kids, as hard as they are to teach, and I have learned a lot from them. For example:

• Always act like you know what you are talking about. If they question you on something, tell them "Research shows that...". They never ask to see the research, and my own personal observations count as research, right?
• You are not as cool as you think you are. I had forgotten about the intricacies of the middle school social structure. It's exhausting! The adult who strays into the world of middle school social politics must always remember the rule of Catch 22 - no matter how cool you might think you are, or actually are to people who are out of college, the simple fact that you are an adult makes you irrevocably uncool, and a simple acknowledgment by you of a certain band or brand will instantly make said band or brand uncool in the eyes of your students. This also goes for any use of middle school slang, although they think it is hilarious for an adult to try, given that it is obvious that the adult is not being serious. To be greeted in public by an adult is a major social faux paux, and I promised them in the first week of school that if I ever see them at the Rave, I will turn my back on them and walk away without a word, for which I was profusely thanked.
• The clothes that are cool one week rarely are the next, and the shoes you wear reveal detailed and insightful personal information, as far as your private allegiances to certain groups, the amount of money your parents make, and how much you care about the opinions of your peers and how hard you will work to act like you don't.

I have more amazing observations to be shared at a later time, but there is a Law and Order marathon I am missing.

I love New York in the spring!

My sister, Holly, and I just returned from our trip to New York last Friday night, pretty late. It was the first time either of us had been to the Big Apple, so we did EVERYTHING. Well, everything we could. We saw a lot of stuff. We basically divided Manhattan into regions and tackled one each day. Here's how it looked:

Tuesday, May 15: Midtown, Time's Square
~ Arrive at LGA about 2:30 or so. Get yelled at by taxi driver for not tipping him for our "tour".
~ Wander around Times Square, buy tix for "Rent".
~ Saw 5th Avenue, NY Public Library, Empire State Building, Macy's, Sephora on Time's Square, Hershey's Store, Dave Letterman Studio
~ Saw "Rent" at Nederlander, 3rd row from front, got spit on by main character.
(Saw lots of skin today - 4 teenage guys in towels in Time's Square as well as the Naked Cowgirl. Yikes. We also watched her get arrested.)

Wednesday, May 16: Central park and Upper-Midtown
~ Breakfast at deli across street from hotel
~ Walked up 5th to Bloomingdales, St. Patrick's Cathedral, Barney's, Dean and Deluca, Rockefeller Center and Plaza, H&M, FAO Schwartz
~ Lunch at Serendipity (that was delicious! Frozen Hot Chocolate a new favorite.)
~ Central Park: Belvedere Castle, Children's Zoo, Metropolitan Museum of Art
~ Subway down to Time's Square to buy tix for "Legally Blonde" when it started raining
~ Dinner at the "Pig and Whistle", and Irish Pub across the street from our hotel. (There were 2 Irish Pubs on our street , and it was unusual for me to find them both filled with actual Irish people. Everyone who worked in them was Irish, and half the patrons were Irish. This was especially fun during soccer games as we could hear them from our hotel room.)
~ Our hotel was next to an Episcopalian Church, so we dropped in for the Solemn Evensong assembly, the service to prepare for the Day of Ascension on Thursday. There were only about 20-30 people in the crowd, so the rector and one of the other priests came up to meet us afterward. Interesting reflection on the churches in New York followed, particularly ones in the middle of the theater district.
~ "Legally Blonde" at 8. Highly recommend this one if you will be there soon. It was really funny - the music was great.
~ Late dinner at Ray's Pizza - what is it about New York pizza? Is there some special ingedient? It doesn't seem like rocket science but no other pizza tastes like it. Yum.

Thursday, May 17: Little Italy, China Town, Greenwich Village, SoHo
~ Went down to China Town and bartered all morning. Don't really like bartering because it feels like someone is getting ripped off.
~ Up to Little italy after that where they were filming a movie or something, and lunch at Angelo's which was delicious (Thanks, Lance and Melissa, for the tip!)
~ Wandered up to Greenwich and SoHo, looked at NYU and surrounding shops, got a haircut, had dessert at Max Brenner even though we were nowhere near hungry yet.
~ Subway back up to St. Patrick's again, then back to H&M again to shop.
~ Saw "Spring Awakening"
~ Dinner at Maxie's on Time's Square and had New York cheesecake - also delicious.

Friday, May 18th: Financial District
~ Breakfast at diner across from hotel, big debate on whether or not guy at neighboring table was Mickey Rourke or not.
~ Subway down to WTC memorial, talk to local cop about how it used to look and what 9/11 felt like
~ Walked around Battery Park and saw Statue of Liberty and Statten Island Ferry
~ Subway back to hotel, head back to airport after lunch at street hot dog vendor (tasted like hot dog...)
~ Cabby drove through Harlem to get to LGA, which seems like the best way to view Harlem - very interesting.
~ Flew out of New York about 6:30 or so.

I had a great time in New York. We wore ourselves out walking! Next time maybe we will actually go into more museums, or out to the Statue of Liberty. There was just so much to do. I've been trying to pick my favorite part but I just don't know what it could be. I loved going to the shows, and seeing lots of stuff that had been on TV and in movies, and the food was great all the way around, especially Serendipity. The one question all the tourists asked each other was, "Could you live here?" We had a long conversation with a woman from Kentucky about that on the subway, and we decided that if you had lots of money, and got to pick the area, it would be fun to live in New York. I will definitely go back out to visit though. Thank you so much to those of you who sent me - it was strange to see all of these young, professional, wealthy people who are only connected to this earth through their work, and realizing how rare it is to be so loved by a big group like you guys, and having a family that goes beyond blood. That was probably the biggest lesson from my trip, and might have been my favorite part after all. Maybe the best part of a trip to a place like New York is coming back home and realizing you prefer what you already had.